 | Soooo.
|
 | 'sup, guys?
|
 | Same old, same old. What whacky scheme are you up to this week?
|
| Practicing for Olypmic mopping is hardly whacky, Odin.
|
| Oh, Odin. You so crazy.
|
| To be blunt: You're not a Olympian and you smell.
|
| I may not be an Olympian, and I may smell, but at least I'm not scruffy-looking!
|
 | Actually, yes you are.
|
| Oh, my mistake.
|
 | With the All-Father in his place, let's get started, shall we?
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| I'm down with that.
|
| All set on my end.
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| Odin will die poor and unloved.
|
| ...
|
| What? Just warming up is all.
|
| ...Another week bites the dust, readers! The second round of eliminations for Season 45 has arrived. With us today is Sierra. Nate is speaking from a closed area as his breath recently caused several pieces of expensive recording equipment to burst into flame.
|
 | I'm afraid I've changed my diet, somewhat. Crucifixes stuffed with garlic in a creamy garlic sauce, with a glass of garlic juice to drink. Followed by a garlic cookie.
|
 | Ugh.
|
| Well, Sierra, tell us all about how you plan to crush my boss to a pulp. And please, don't leave out any details.
|
| Despite his recent...intake of noxious herbage, I think crushing him quickly and effortlessly with my darkness-typed attacks. That is, if he wants to keep using that obnoxious Persona of his.
|
| Bah. Alfred and I won't go down so easily!
|
| Oh, please. Your pathetic little attempts to destroy me won't scratch a vampire.
|
| Who are you kidding? Vampires are the worst scum to ever walk the earth. Dracula? His castle is an anarchic mess with a terrible location and he rountinely gets whipped down by angsty pretty boys. Then you've got the Anne Rice set, with half a pound of black makeup that must melt the part of the brain that senses shame. You're the closest thing to Neclord, and we all know how much of a wimp he was. I mean, who honestly plays an organ anymore? If it was anymore cliche they'd have to take Suikoden out back and shoot it.
|
| Comparing me to Neclord? Oh, I'm going to enjoy this.
|
| Let's...save it for the arena, okay? Moving right along.
|
 | I fight for my friends!
|
 | Stop saying that!
|
| Oh, great, new blood. How does it feel to be in the DL, Ike?
|
| I haven't felt this good since I easily butchered wave after wave of conscripted soldiers in a battle.
|
| RPG hero sociopathy aside, do you think you're ready for your first appearance in the DL?
|
| Oh, sure. It'll be as easy as knocking the food out of the recently orphaned children's hands! Hahahah!
|
| Well, this is terrifying.
|
| With my legendary sword Ragnell, I will achieve victory...through DRAMATIC FLIPPING!
|
 | Eh, it's been done.
|
| Get lost, punk, you already had your shot. Bruiser, your rebuttal?
|
| Eh, I just punch things. It works out.
|
| Well said.
|
| Welp, time to go kick Soren into the nearest river again. See you chumps later.
|
| I dunno, he seems alright to me.
|
| Lousy orphans probably had it coming.
|
 | You can relax now. I'm here.
|
| ...case in point...
|
 | Hi!
|
| Go on.
|
| Well, whipping things hasn't steered me wrong yet.
|
| I think I'll make him eat that eyepatch.
|
| Oh yeah? Well I think I'll make you....you eat...a...sandwich! And it won't be very good!
|
| You're going down.
|
| Oh, god, not the face! Not my beautiful face!
|
| Yes. The face.
|
| Especially the mouth. Go for the mouth.
|
| The tongue, specifically!
|
| You're all mean!
|
| Ah, come on back. I was only going to hit you with my axe a few times...
|
| Whenever we terrify some loser PC, I know BtS has done its job.
|
| Warms my heart.
|
 | So glad to be here! Especially when I have this ultra-delux extra special painting brush for the low, low price of 2000 gil!
|
 | Well...I was thinking about getting a new brush for a painting I'm working on...
|
| No. For the love of God, NO.
|
| Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy.
|
| Not wanting to watch your little hellspawn tear apart the studio is not being a fuddy-duddy.
|
| Well, now that you mention it, I do have this Hellspawn Repellant for half-off...
|
| Save it and make with the talking.
|
| Oh, come now, do you honestly expect me to fight a little girl? Especially one that could probably kick the crap out of me with her freakish doppelgangers? I'm going to make a fortune off of my patented Run The Hell Away Serum.
|
| ????
|
| Alcohol. It's Alcohol.
|
| Ah.
|
| I'll buy it at a high price!
|
| Hehehe. Thank you.
|
| Come back anytime.
|
| But...but I didn't get to talk about the match...
|
| Oh, go cry me a river and then paint it, you little brat. Look, Ike's probably going to try using you for target practice anyway, so you should get lost.
|
| Oh no!
|
| Hey, pass that around...Stranger.
|
| ...Why the hell did you say that?
|
| I...I don't know.
|
| ...
|
| Eh, I'm sure nobody cares. Well, that's it for this week, readers! See you next week for Quarterfinals!
|
I, Kazan, bid you welcome to the RPG Dueling League, dedicated to the art of pitting the greatest warriors of the RPG Multiverse against each other in honourable combat! Within lies the greatest showcase of fighting talent you will ever lay your eyes upon!