 | Welcome viewers. If you’ve noticed, this is a special week here at Behind the Scenes. As you can tell, we’re not in the studio at the moment, but instead at the DL High Court for this special report! If anyone’s been keeping up with the latest happenings, they’ll know that we’ve recently had a large booting. We’re currently watching the final decisions being handed out, and we’re going to give you a spot on look at it all!
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 | Hey, Gilgamesh…any reason for the sudden serious mood swing? That was…kind of truly journalistic there, which isn’t exactly your forte.
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| I’m looking for a Pulitzer at some point. By the way, did Chisato get us our seats yet?
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| I think she’s still working on that…
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 | You crazy woman! Let go of mmeeeeeee!!
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 | I do say, I think I’ll go back and have a spot of tea somewhere else.
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 | Got us the seats, boss?
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 | Yes I do. Now get on over here and start filming!
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| And done. Having all these hands is pretty handy.
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| Quit the punning, and get the cameras running!
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| Sssshhhh! It’s all starting!
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 | All rise, the honourable judge Mewtwo presiding.
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 | { You may be seated. This is the final call: closing arguments, any surprise witnesses, bring them forth. Defense, you’re up first. Whatever you have for your closing arguments, bring them forth }
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 | Very well. I call Morte to the stand to plead his case.
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 | Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?
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 | Isn’t that kind of redundant? I mean, ‘truth’ indicates, well the truth, doesn’t it?
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 | Kimahri thinks you should think before you speak.
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| Wow, the walking, talking cat thinks I need to reason out my thoughts before speaking. Yale graduate? Have to be, with all that common sense. Moron.
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| { There will be order in this court. No backtalking. Defense! No ogling the jury! }
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| Hey, she really did drop that penny! I didn’t do it!
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 | And the three quarters, six dimes, and four nickels too?
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| Uh…well…ok, that was me.
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| Wonderful. An adolescent pervert is representing me. Can I be my own lawyer here? It’s not like I can do any worse.
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| { No. We’ll get another one in later. We’ll start with the prosecution, but first…stop dropping change on the ground! Get out of my courtroom, you stupid ninja! }
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| Whoa, no need to go all mental on me. I’ll see myself out.
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| { Lord knows your feeble mind couldn’t handle it. Now, prosecution, you can go. }
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 | Thank you. Let’s wrap up, shall we? First, we have indisputable evidence that Morte has been involved in illegal activities since his instatement in the DL.
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| Everyone in the DL has been involved in some illegal activity. I mean, look at what happened to Necron! And Kefka over there: he’s been filling his balloon animals with laughing gas. Why else would anyone find him funny?
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 | My secret! You son of a submariner! Uwhehehehehehehe! You let my secret out!
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| While that may be the case, you’re the one on trial.
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| Wow, wonderful tricky legalese there. So my little “illegal activity” was worse than drugging up little kids?
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| The RPGDL doesn’t take too kindly to telemarketing.
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 | Telemarketing?! Telemarketing!? This is all over telemarketing?!
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 | You pulled him up on charges of Telemarketing? You people are about as screwed up as the church is.
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| Telemarketing? What were you selling?
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 | Now, I know I’m new here, but…what exactly is the problem with telemarketing?
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| It’s a despicable thing. Absolutely awful. Interrupting people during dinner, or during a movie…it’s the most heinous thing in existence.
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| It really is. I mean, especially with the stuff Morte was trying to market…horrible.
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 | What was he trying to market?
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| { Rogaine. }
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| So I was trying to market Rogaine…big deal! What’s wrong with wanting a beautiful head of hair?
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| Quite a bit. You didn’t go through the proper channels beforehand, meaning that you therefore avoided having to pay taxes, since you weren’t fully registered.
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 | Tax evasion and illegal marketing. Wow.
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| { This is getting off track. Back to the point, Fuse }
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| Right. So, I ask you, jury, if this skull is truly the type of person we want to continue competing in the RPGDL. His morals are clearly lacking, and as a representative for the DL, we can’t have that. I rest my case.
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| { Thank you. Since we have no defense attorney, would anyone like to stand up and defend Morte? }
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| Sure!
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| …this isn’t happening.
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| Morte’s not a great man…skull…thing. Sure he swears, insults people, trips old ladies, bites dogs, and causes a mess of things, but really, can you hate that face?
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| Yes.
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| Yep.
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| Stop…just stop, Odin.
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| { Is the Defense finished? }
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| Yes we are.
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| { Then jury, your verdict? }
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 | Guilty. Now let’s get out of here.
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 | …
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 | Guilty.
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 | Boo says, “Guilty”!
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 | Guilty.
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| { The verdict is in. Morte, you are hereby found guilty of tax evasion and illegal marketing. From this moment hence, you are not allowed to compete in the DL proper. }
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| The honourable judge has spoken. Court is adjourned.
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| Oh well. So, back to Behind the Scenes, chief?
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| Oh…I don’t know. You never were that enthused about it to begin with, and now…well, you’re a horrible influence on the younger generation.
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| The boss does have a point. I mean, you are vile, ugly, and unkind to others.
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| Oh, I see what this is…so I’ll be taking a pay cut, right?
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| Yep. And part of the bathroom duty.
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| Hey! Don’t punish me for something he did!
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| Eh…whatever. Maybe it’s all for the best. After all, I’m still prettier than the rest of you useless fleshbags.
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| More so than this lovely piece of seafood soup? I think not.
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| Stop it. At least we can all agree that this has at least been an entertaining week. So, let’s wish all our finalists luck, and be on our way.
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| Good luck, berks! I’ll see you all next week!
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| From all of us…
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| …have fun…
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| And tune in next week for an exciting new episode of Behind the Scenes! Have a great week!
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The final battle is near! Brave Defenders, revel in the glory that is finals week, where only the greatest of warriors remain. Come on, dear readers! Don't delay!